I thought I would be so angry. I have every right to be. Every damn right in the world. Anger in this situation is entirely natural. I have filled myself with a wall of rage for far less than this.

But instad I just feel worn out. Abused.

Maybe tommorow will be a better day. One with hover cars and this whole thing has just been a dream... A bad dream...

//Edit: I'm feeling better. Not even a chip out of the armor.

The Best Coke Ever, and some philosphy

Did I ever tell you about that time I went to the old spaghetti factory a few months ago? I think we were going to a movie afterwards. There might of been delays due to newsradio-persuasion back when there were those kinds of delays in our day-to-day activities. Much laughter was had.

It was fun. Chris and that-guy-who's-name-I-think-might-be-Ian-or-might-not-be were working. And they both came out and hung out with us. I ate lots of bread. Well, not much really, but I had already eaten that day, so I didn't get an entree.

Anyway, the meat of the matter. Why I bring it up and stuff. On that day, I had the best coca-cola ever. There is no debate in this. It was perfect. Just one glass. It was the first glass I had there, and all others were not as good, probably because the small amount of thirst I had might of already been slacked...

[aside: they say that hunger is the best spice, maybe same for thirst/drinks? For food idealy, guests should be exposed to the (good!) cooking smells for around half an hour before a meal, often with a light beverage such as ice water. Ice water provides no sustenance, yet prepares your digestive tract for recieving food. Primes it as it is. Anyway... back to the coke. Which coke? Why the best one of course.]

... And that subsequent drinks were merely good instead of being a borderline religious experience.

As for why I bring up this whole thing, besides the amusingness of the event, I was rather insistant about the awesomeness of my beverage selection, and how it might be an amusing anecdote of some sort, it is because I worry sometimes.

That I forget things.
I know this happens, because my mind is littered with shards of memory. A smile there, a smell there, a feeling, a laugh, a moment. But it is all unconnected... There aren't any associations with it. So it is meaningless. This is because I have nothing in my whole existance which is truely tied to how my life is now and recently. I don't have a camera, no pictures. I don't typically go and buy things. All my money I fritter away on impermanent things, things as fleeting as the memories connecting them.

I am one day I will forget something that I use to hold so important that I can feel the import of it, that I can see in my mind the shape of the memory, but the content will all be fled.

I think this because I am sitting here, fueled by a thirst that will not be slacked by water, regardless of how much I pour down my throat. Like I had something before, that I don't have anymore, but all that remains is the yearning for it.

It makes me sad. To feel the loss, but having no idea of how to lessen it.

---

I want a coke.

Sweeeet test

Your Personality Profile

You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant. Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle. You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs. For you, comfort and calm are very important. You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection. You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

That was a great test.
Your mind is a weapon

Note to self:

blog about urban decay, entropy, and dystopian societies and how they relate to my burned out closet light bulb.

In pain.

So, I got muscle spasms. They come packaged with CRIPPLING PAIN. So I got some drugs. Muscle relaxant and an anti-inflammatory. Now I'm all in favor of muscle relaxant, but this one comes with pain relievers. So double points.

Both of these drugs make me drowsy though. Feel tired.

So now, I'm still in pain, BUT, I find I just don't care anymore. I blame rock climbing. And my fat gut.

So I'm gonna go to bed and read a book.

There was an entirely seperate subject I was going to blog about, but I can't remember.

I miss WarCraft.